October 8, 2020

Pretending to be a ballerina.

Well, that was fun. A yoga retreat. A global pandemic. A group of amazing humans for whom I am forever grateful. My incredible co-host + dear friend, Laura Talafer, who lived the whole experience right next to me for 10 whole days.

I have to admit something. I approached this whole retreat with a hefty dose of imposter syndrome sitting on my shoulders. The first few days it reared it’s judgmental head- are you sure you’re a yoga teacher? Yes. Are you sure you’re up for this task of leading a retreat with all these fragile humans when you’re so fragile too? Also yes.

As a little girl I took ballet lessons for about 5 years. Like many young ballerinas, I also spent a few years thinking I wanted to be a professional when I grew up. I’d go to the ballet with my granny and watch how gracefully they moved and get lost in the fantasy of my future on the stage. To be clear here- I was not actively pursuing a career as a ballerina. I was a 6 year old, wearing a tutu, who never even went on pointe. My ballet ‘career’ formally ended sometime in the beginning of middle school

So I might never be a professional ballerina, but it’s not like I feel like an imposter ballerina when I stand in (slightly ballet-inspired) yoga poses. Imposter syndrome tends to show up more when we feel almost up for a challenge or a task or a hurdle, but not quite. Pretending to be a ballerina is easy, embracing that I am a fully-qualified yoga teacher and retreat leader, well, that feels a little harder. But here I am. So grateful. To the humans who trusted me to lead them and to the friends and family who’ve supported me through it all.

What would happen if we all let go of imposter syndrome and stepped into doing and achieving the things we know we’re made for? I think we’d all shine a little brighter. Just a thought