September 12, 2021
Imposter syndrome is a comical ailment, isn’t it?
Confession: Most of the time I have literally no idea what I’m doing. This summer feels like it’s been sprinkled with fairy dust and yet I’ve been confused about my path, confused about next steps, confused about life
I get insecure about the fact that things feel like they’re happening all at once. I’ve had visitors for most of the summer and it’s been amazing and a tiny bit overwhelming too. I’ve led a yoga retreat in Sicily, taught yoga on rooftops, taught yoga privately, tour guided, been in the Colosseum less times than ever in my professional life (besides 2020), led a multi-day tour to Puglia, written articles, spent so much time with people I adore, been on a lot of boats, drank a lot wine, gotten less sleep than I prefer, written almost every single day, read a few books. I’ve spent very few hours in my apartment and sometimes I feel like I’m about to float away and then equally I feel so grounded in my life, here.
Last year I had an identity crisis: what am I without my job? This year I’ve resolved it (in my own way) by realizing that the question “what do you do?” isn’t an accusation. When people ask me what my job is I say I’m a tour guide (true), then I say I’m a yoga teacher (also true).
Sometimes I feel like a fraud, like I’m not really doing anything fully cause I’m doing so much superficially. But when that thought creeps in I realize that that is also a form of imposter syndrome.
What do I do? I love, I share, I create space for people to be themselves (or I try to). I wake up early and meditate/ I stay up all night and party. I tour guide/ I yoga. In between the moments of imposter syndrome, I have massive a-ha moments: oh right, this is my life, this is the country that has embraced me and I embrace it right back. This is normal and natural and to paraphrase @glennondoyle, being human isn’t hard cause we’re doing it wrong, it’s hard cause we’re doing it right.
So, I invite you, take a moment, take a breath, whisper to yourself: I’m doing it right
