May 24, 2023

Eyes wide shut 👀

A big difference in my life over the past five years is how often I make eye contact with people AND also how much more often I pause and close my eyes when I’m thinking/processing.

I spent a whole lot of life avoiding myself and connection as a means of self-protection.

If you know me, this statement might seem crazy.

I connect with everyone I meet. Almost always.

I’ve always been a person who’s surrounded by people. I’ve been fortunate enough to find friends wherever I go (a stranger is just a best friend I haven’t met yet) and my entire professional life has involved interacting with people.
But there’s a huge difference between interacting and connecting. For me, working in hospitality (in one form or another) has always involved perceived connection but often that didn’t translate to me genuinely seeking to connect with the people in front of me.

Tour guiding brought out my most subtle of people pleasing tendencies. And despite what internet therapy might tell you, that’s actually not a bad thing (necessarily).

The bad thing, for me, was how it translated into my everyday life. I blurred the line between who I was as a tour guide and who I was in real life.

And undoing (unraveling, processing through) that has been my greatest joy and one of my greatest accomplishments.

I look people in the eyes now.

Eek. My confession is I actually challenge myself to observe people’s eye colors as a way to remind myself to make meaningful eye contact.

Not the creepy eye-gazing kind. Just genuine connection.

And I close my eyes when I need a second to tune into myself, my body, my needs.

Eyes are the windows to our souls, so what’s your relationship with your eyes (and the eyes of the people you engage with)?